Interview With IZ Chars.
by Brainless Boy
Summary: These are my interviews with IZ Chars. Chapter 5 is here... Interview with Professor Membrane. Please R&R. Thank you.
1. GIR

Title: Interviews  
By: Brainless Boy (BB)  
First Chapter - First Interview. Interview with GIR.  
  
This is an interview between me (Brainless Boy) and GIR.  
  
B(rainless) B(oy): Hello there, GIR. How are you doing today?  
GIR: Do you have tacos? I love tacos. I love you. Marry me.  
  
BB: No... I don't have any tacos, and no I will not marry you.  
GIR: Good... I never really loved you. I love Mr. Scary Monkey. I love that show.  
  
BB: Very good. I have a few questions about Zim. First question: Is Zim an alien?  
GIR: I'll tell you for a taco. TACO TACO TACO!!!  
  
BB: Very well then, here is your taco. *hands GIR a taco*  
GIR: Hey you said you didn't have any... never mind!!! *munch munch* mmm... *munch munch* All done.   
  
*minute of silence*  
  
BB: Well?  
GIR: Ummm... can you repeat the question?  
  
BB: IS ZIM OR IS HE NOT AN ALIEN?!?!?!  
GIR: I'll tell you for a taco.  
  
BB: NO! Just answer me. Answer me now.  
GIR: Yes.... wait.... No.... wait..... I dunno.  
  
BB: *smacks head* Let us move on. What does Zim do when he comes home from Skool?  
GIR: I watch the Scary Monkey Show.  
  
BB: That is very nice. What does Zim do?  
GIR: He.... He.... He goes to Skool.  
  
BB: What does he do AFTER that? Do you know?  
GIR: Ummm..... I'll tell you for a taco.  
  
BB: NO! NO MORE TACOS. Let's just move on to the next question. Does Zim have any pets?  
GIR: I do... *runs away*  
  
BB: Where did he go?  
GIR: *comes running back with a pig in his hands screaming* PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
BB: Ahhh! What on earth? What is...  
GIR: I have a pig. See! *shoves pig into brainless boy's face* Piggy Piggy PIGGY!  
  
BB: Put that down. Now where is Zim right now.  
GIR: I am going to sing a song for you. *begins to sing* Doom Doom Doom, Doom Doom De Doom...  
  
BB: Very lovely voice, but where is Zim?  
GIR: Ummmm... I don't know. Wanna get some cupcakes? Wanna get a slushy? Wanna get some gum? Wanna get some Cherry Poop? Wanna get some TACOS.  
  
BB: Boys, take him to go get some tacos, and a slushy, and some gum, and some Cherry Poop, and some cupcakes. I will look for Zim.  
GIR: *looks at tv* I love this show. I wanna watch it.  
  
BB: Very well then.  
GIR: YAY! 


	2. Zim

Chapter 2 - Interview 2 - Interview with Zim  
  
BB: Hello there Zim.  
Zim: Hello there, pitiful little human scum!  
  
BB: Right.... anyway, I have a few questions to ask you.  
Zim: *bug eyes* I WILL NOT SPEAK!  
  
BB: Why not, do you have something that you are hiding?  
Zim: What have you heard? Did that Dib Human tell you something? LIES! ALL LIES!  
  
BB: Once again, right.. no, I just want to do a normal interview with you.  
Zim: Well carry on then, I suppose.  
  
BB: Ok. Why is your skin green?  
Zim: I have a rare skin condition that is very rare. If you heard anything else, ITS A LIE. I love Earth.  
  
BB: Me too. Next question. Why do you suppose that people say you are an alien?  
Zim: Because they are LIERS! They think of me as some sort of... "weirdo" because of my rare skin condition that is very rare. Did I mention I love Earth?  
  
BB: As a matter of fact, you just did. Now, how do you feel, when the kids at school make fun of you, and point and laugh and tease you.  
Zim: I feel vindictive. I will get them back. I WILL MAKE THEM MY SLAVES! THEY WILL SUFFER!!! Oh, my... I didn't just say that.  
  
BB: Yes you did. How are you going to make them suffer?  
Zim: I didn't say that *kicks Brainless Boy in the shins* I DIDN'T SAY THAT. LISTEN TO ME OR DOOM WILL BE UNLEASHED UPON YOUR PITIFUL PUNY LITTLE HUMAN HEAD! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough cough*  
  
BB: *rubbing shins* Ow.... now... can you tell us about your parents?  
Zim: No.  
  
BB: Why not?  
Zim: No.  
  
BB: Why not? Is there something about them that you have to hide.  
Zim: *screams* I SAID NO HUMAN! I love Earth.  
  
BB: Ok, ok. Calm down. Now, what do you think of this fellow, umm... is it Dib?  
Zim: What? Where? When?  
  
BB: Calm down, he is not here. Why are you afraid of him?  
Zim: Me? Afraid of Dib? Don't make me laugh. ha ha ha ha ha. I love Earth.  
  
BB: Well thank you for your time, I think.  
Zim: No thank you. Umm... would you mind stepping into this testing facility... I mean room, so I can ask you some questions of my own?  
  
BB: I am sorry, but I don't have time. Good-bye.  
Zim: Wait! Nooo! You will not out smart me, HUMAN! I will rule the.... I mean, I love Earth.  



	3. Dib

Chapter 3 - Interview 3 - Interview With Dib  
  
BB: Hello, Dib. How are you today?  
Dib: I am fine. Can we please make this speedy? I want to be done with this interview before Mysterious Mysteries comes on.  
  
BB: Ok, I will try to make it quick. Now Dib, I hear you are very interested in this Zim. Can you tell us why that is?  
Dib: Isn't it obvious? He is an alien. I mean, just look at him. Am I the only one on this planet with a brain? It is so obvious.  
  
BB: We asked him if he was an alien. He said no. What do you have to say about that?  
Dib: You actually think that he would confess to being an alien. That would be like me running around in a tutu screaming "I took ballet!" *squints eyes* I believe I should shut up right about now.  
  
BB: Right. Any way, we hear that you have plans on proving that Zim is an alien. How are you going to do this? Last time that you sent in information to the TV, they took you to the psychiatric ward.  
Dib: I am not the crazy one. THEY are the crazy ones. Zim is obviously an alien. I mean, he just does so many weird things.  
  
BB: Weird things? What kind of weird things has Zim done?  
Dib: Once he went inside my body and zapped my brain.  
  
BB: I said weird things.  
Dib: You don't find it weird that someone would shrink themselves, put themselves in your food, get eaten by you, float around in your body, zap your brain, and then fight your sister?  
  
BB: Not really.  
Dib: Like I said... I must be the only person on this planet with a brain.  
  
BB: Has he done anything else weird.  
Dib: Practically everything he does is weird. He has lawn gnomes that attack people. He built fake parents that flew out of the air to his house. He has a space ship.  
  
BB: I think this interview is over, since you can't think of any weird things that this Zim boy has done. You really are crazy. *picks up phone and calls mental institution*  
Dib: What are you doing? Get out of my house at once!  
  
BB: I will do no such thing. Where is your sister?  
Dib: Gaz? She is in her room. 


	4. Gaz

Chapter 4 - Interview 4 - Interview with Gaz  
  
*Gaz, as usual, is playing her video game*  
  
BB: Hello, Gaz. I am here to ask you a few questions.  
Gaz: Whatever.  
  
BB: So, what is it like being related to Dib?  
Gaz: It is a living heck! He drives me... NEW LEVEL! Score!  
  
BB: Could you put that game down for a moment?  
Gaz: NO!  
  
BB: Very well then. Now, does Dib ever annoy you?  
Gaz: What do you think?  
  
BB: I don't know. I am not related to either of you *cough* thank God *cough* so...  
Gaz: AND WHY IS IT BAD TO BE RELATED TO ME? *eyes turn red*  
  
BB: I never said that. I didn't mean... I really... I... I... never mind what I said. Next question, ok?  
Gaz: Whatever.  
  
BB: Ok, what is your...  
Gaz: Bwhahaha! I beat the living crud out of that stupid lil piggy.  
  
BB: Ummm... Yeah. Anyway, what is your dad like?  
Gaz: He's like... a genius. Nothing you or my brother would understand.  
  
BB: Hey, was that an insult?  
Gaz: What do you think ... wait... don't answer that you idiot!  
  
BB: Well that is enough. I'll just find someone else to interview.  
Gaz: Good. LOW BATTERIES?!?!? *runs out of the room at 50 miles per hour* 


	5. Membrane

Chapter 5 - Interview 5 - Interview with Professor Membrane.  
  
BB: Hello there Professor. How are you doing today?  
Professor: I am fine. I do not have a lot of time. I am working on cloning the largest whale in the universe.  
  
BB: Very... interesting. Now, I have a few questions for...  
*Professor Membrane runs down the hall and Brainless Boy runs behind, but there are some machines in the way*  
Professor: I must get down to the Configuration Time Bomb  
  
BB: The... Con Whata Timey Bomby? Never mind that. Anyway, how do you feel about Dib hunting down aliens?  
Professor: How long has he been doing this. Just send him to his room.  
  
BB: Ummm... yes. *runs through a tiny little machine and comes out running* Woah!  
BB Clone: Umm... Professor?  
Professor: Yes, what is... Oh. *throws and Brainless Boy into the clone machine and only one comes out... the REAL Brainless Boy*  
  
BB: What the... anyway... so... how many inventions have you came up with?  
Professor: Last time I counted it w DON'T TOUCH THAT UNLESS YOU WANT TO KILL EVERYONE IN A 25 MILE RADIUS... 289,023,552 inventions... working on one right now.  
  
*they stop running and stand at a table with tons of things and a large fish on it*  
  
BB: Ummm *stares at the fish* Is... that..... *the fish jumps up, opens it's mouth, and sucks Brainless Boy's head into his mouth. Brainless Boy taps Professor Membrane on the shoulder*  
Professor: What is it AH! My dear boy, you have a fish on your head!  
  
BB: *voice is mumbled* I know... can you get it off?  
Professor: I can't understand you. I better take this fish off. *takes off the fish* Now, what did you say?  
  
BB: Never mind. So, your last name is Membrane... which would make Dib's last name Membrane too... right?  
Professor: No... Right?  
  
BB: No?  
Professor: Yes.  
  
BB: So, Yes.  
Professor. Not Yes. No.  
  
BB: Is that a no?  
Professor: Yes.  
  
BB: Yes it's a no, or it's a yes?  
Professor: A no. Yes?  
  
BB: No.  
Professor: Right.  
  
BB: Wrong 


End file.
